Mark and Eva - Happy Trails

     Sometimes the people we think we are seeing in our brains are not the people we are seeing as the image is entering the eye.   A recent social encounter among the celebrity class is a case in point.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57tK6aQS_H0

This is what Mark Sanchez thought
he saw for the past three months



 

     We can all sympathise with Mr. Sanchez, the famed quarterback for the New York Jets, with this common mistake.  Sometimes it takes a while before the reality sets in, and the "colour of the soul" begins to reveal the true beauty that a girl has.   Imagine how Mark felt when it hit him all of a sudden!

 

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbUNVm1k3nU&feature=endscreen&NR=1

This is Eva Longoria after coming out Make-up
and Wardrobe this morning.   They can really
do wonders nowadays.   She looks almost alive.

     So, just chalk it up to another emply chair, Mark.    And even if it just a fling, it is always better to take the soul, the heart, the brain, and the looks of a girl, count to 10, and average them all together and divide by four.  The immediate picture above is the distillate that comes from that process for Eva Longoria.   You can do better, Mark.  Follow Tebow or the Brady boys....and just let it happen.

 

El Gringo Viejo

Repeal and Replace?

Mr. Romney:


No repeal and replace.   Repeal only....repeal and rescind.....repeal forever. 

   The central government has no place in "providing" or "making arrangements for" or "looking after our geezers" or "providing a safety net" or "driving down prices of 'medical care'" or "being pro-active". 

     Remember the Great Truism Axiom:    All sociological and cultural problems being faced by the United States of America at this time have a central government sponsored program at their foundation.   All such programs began with the shout-down similar to, "DO YOU THINK THAT A CHILD SHOULD GO HUNGRY?"

     Remember the next great Axiom from the Cosmos:   All central government programs fail, cost more than originally explained, and are designed for setting up the blaming of conservative and productive elements for being un-caring, stingy, and generally soul-less.
Every two years.

Thanks!
El Gringo Viejo

We Receive Questions (updated 23 October 2012)

     Sometimes the OROG might ask what else does the Gringo Viejo do besides drink AirWick and nibble on NoDoz all day?   Sometimes people indirectly or directly ask for advice about Mexico.   Sometimes these questions come in chance meetings out in the real world, sometimes they come through the Time-Warner Cable that leads into our little computer, and sometimes they bubble up from indirect sources.    At other times, it comes from a telephone call that starts,"A friend of mine said that you helped him with this problem in Mexico..."   This entry that follows is a form of what El Gringo Viejo might be called upon, or might volunteer, to do.   These things are "free", although if it leads to direct service, then we charge for accompanying, negotiating, drawing up a reconnaissance report, or accommodating clients.    Our charges are a bit less than an attorney, and a bit more than what the neigbour boy charges to cut your lawn.

 

     This will be of a slightly enhanced bit of interest to El Zorro, because when he is not leaving messages at our Quinta, or saving Damsels, or intervening to right some wrong, he leaves the Sierra Madre Oriental and secrets himself and his lady near where our new friend resides.   Remember that in Texas, "near" is a very relative term.....something like 200 miles radius.   And before OROGs begin digging around for that old compass, take into consideration that El Zorro has been seen recently beyond Yellowknife, and even in recesses of the Rocky Mountains.

 

TO WIT:

#1 2012-10-17 19:11:32

New member

From: Wichita Falls, TX

Registered: 2012-05-19

Posts: 8

I'd like to move to Tampico, but Mexico scares me. Opinions, please!

Hi folks, I spent a week in Ecuador (Guayaquil, Manta, and Bahia De Carraquez last June. I don't want to commit moving there before I try Mexico. I live in Texas, so Mex would be closer. However, I must be honest with myself: Mexico scares me. I hear there are SO many reasons to be thrown in jail. Everyone steals. The police are maybe worse than the criminals. I've heard of bandit raid in the country sections of Verzcruz. Please let me know if I'm imagining all this. I'm planning on a bus trip from my town to Tampico soon. Please let me know if I'm worrying about nothing. Thanks.

 

ANSWER:

privatouring

Member

From: Near Victoria, Tamaulipas

Registered: 2009-02-19

Posts: 15

Re: I'd like to move to Tampico, but Mexico scares me. Opinions, please!

           Due to press reports, your response is reasonable and normal. However, the press most frequently reports the truth, but not the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me, God.

      I live in Mexico in the belly of the beast in terms of cartel violence. We have a nice little adobe place we built in a rural area up against the mountains northwest of Cd. Victoria. During this entire war episode against the cartels, within 25 miles radius of our place, there have been numerous inter-cartel skirmishes, heavy engagements between Army or Naval Infantry units against the cartel units or gaggles (the military always wins), and various police elements and the cartel people (the police, especially the federal police, almost always win).
       Corruption continues, but not to the famous levels of 1970 - 1982 during the infamous administrations of Luis Echeverria Alvarez and Jose Lopez Portillo. That set the mind's view of many Americans about Mexican corruption. It is still not a perfect situation, but I will tell you that in my necessary dealings with the government at all levels there has been no corruption or shake-downs. I have suffered few such episodes even including the Echeverria and Lopez Portillo period. Our family has been involved in legitimate activity and business in Mexico (some of it not far from Tampico, relatively) since the 1880s.
       I have been asked to intercede for Americans who have been involved in criminal legal issues in Mexico, and in each case the American was guilty of something, by his/her own admission. The cavernous, labyrinthine judicial process in Mexico ranges from hopelessly inefficient, to corrupt, to sometimes fairly functional. The authorities, even the shady ones who (who become fewer as the days go by) really do not want a gringo in the police detention or state jail in his district. The truth is that in 99% of the cases of legal transgression the authority wants to get rid of the burr under the saddle that a gringo presents. Gringo legal problems in Mexico make a lot of news at times because of their rarity, not because of their abundance.
       In your case, I would try to get my feet wet. Tampico/Madero/Altamira metroplex is a fascinating urban madness. It has a lot of tropical aire, it has incredible food even at streetside stands....at 1st and 2nd clas full scale restuarants, and at fancy linen and silver deluxe places. It is bustling, a bit noisy, international in a way....lots of English surnamed people from the foreign oil operations days, old-tyme Chinese Mexicans from the railroad period in the 1870s and the port activity, and even Totonac and Huastec Indians who still come into the big city to sell crafts and buy supplies for their farms out to the west. It is a huge, major port....situated essentially downtown. It has a huge petrochemical industrial complex, and an ancient PEMEX refinery that is under continuous renovation and modernisation. There is a lot of French blood lines there and to the south and southwest from the Positivist farmers, ranchers, and educators who were invited in during the 1870s by President Lerdo y Tejada to "beef up" the agricultural and indigenous education systems. Gringos are a passively esteemed element in the area, but throwing beer mugs into the 10,000 dollar mirror behind the bar at your favourite saloon is still not a recommended activity. If you were to watch the movie, Treasure of the Sierra Madre with Humphrey Bogart all the way through, it will give you a bit of an idea of the reality. Things have changed in the sense that everyone has a cellular telephone, almost everyone has a computer or access to a computer.
       Excellent inter-city 1st class and deluxe bus service abounds, along with decent, scheduled air service from a modern international airport. The people are civil (albeit occupied and busy), water and food are good, beer and ice cream and packaged junkfood is better, and the beach ranges from easily survivable to elegant at times. There is a little less garbage and litter as each day goes by.

      To avoid problems with the violence about which you hear, 99% of that is solved simply by not becoming involved with the drug trafficking people. Most of the killing you hear about is cartel people killing cartel people. More troubling is the "secuestro" (kind of an "express kidnapping")that plagues people of the upper and middle income groupings. The general citizenry has become emboldened however, and are more and more willing to "drop a dime" on perpetrators to the Army or Naval Infantry hot lines (very quick response) and even now with the newly developed Policia Federal, a military-style civilian police agency that is proving to be about 99% as good as the Army and Naval Infantry. There has been slow degradation of the "secuestradores" and a bit quicker dialysis of the corruption within local and national, State, and local police and judicial systems. The trek is long before us still, but evidence of improvement cannot be denied. Even opposition parties give Calderon Hinojosa begrudging credit for having fought the good fight and for having won much of the "War". The new President incoming has made all kinds of public and private pledges to continue the War....and this has wide approval among the general Mexican population and the overwhelming majority of the resident foreign population.

       This set of observations could go on forever, because Mexico is like the five blind men trying to describe an elephant. But I would recommend that you spend some time in and around the Tuxpan, Vera Cruz State area, not far from Tampico. Spend a month there. Also, although it is very gringo-occupied, there is still a 99.9% central Mexican place that is heavily Indian w/ a sizable White colonial population with traditions from both that are pleasant, and that is San Miquel de Allende, State of Guanajuato. There is a large American/Canadian/British presence there....perhaps 10,000 permanent and semi-permanent people....who are between somewhat to totally "Mexicanized". They don't just love it...they live it. Cold beer, incredible eats, stunning colonial architecture and ambiance, no stop-lights, honest government, perpetual late Spring weather, totally advanced and totally, totally stuck in the past, remember SAN MIGUEL de ALLENDE, GUANAJUATO. I would also recommend GUANAJUATO, GUANAJUATO...which is an entire city that is an official National Historical Monument...wherein 5/6s of the city is frozen in the colonial period...Spanish tourists say it is more "Spain" than Spain. It is not a movie mock-up, but a living, bustling State Capital with 20 or so different integral economic, cultural, educational, agricultural and political foundations. Indescribable.

Find an apartment in either of those two places....something inexpensive....and relax, observe, and enjoy.

      Oddly, you might like to take the bus from Reynosa to a pleasant little dump like Valles, San Luis Potosi and hang around at the Hotel Valles for about a month...taking side trips to Cd. General Santos Tancinhuitz, Aquismon, and Xilitla, as well as Tamuin and Tempoal - all the latter places dominated to this day by the Upper and Lower Huastec Indian nation...fully integrated into the Mexican identity, but also integrated unto themselves...you have to see it and live it to appreciate it. But it will give you a really good, positive, AND realistic sense of the good and the problematic of hanging around in Mexico.

           I prosper in the madness, and enjoy it immensely. Thanks for your interest and attention. Visit our blog, where you can access our Quinta Tesoro de la Sierra Madre bed and breakfast outside of Cd. Victoria by clicking on to privatouring.blogspot.com and then clicking onto the private linkage quintatesorodelasierramadre.com found on the rightmost margin of the blog.
Thanks for your kind attention, and "Buena Suerte!"
El Gringo Viejo

Hazardous Material Team Called into White House

DANGEROUS WHITE HOUSE DISCOVERY:

Dangerous work if you can
get it.

       Several thousand Haz-mat workers were called into the White House yesterday late during the afternoon when a repair crew encountered several hundred pages with repetitive writing, as if someone was trying to perfect somebody elses handwriting.  The pages had essentially the same message with slight changes and were all signed by a "Vince Foster".   The issue was complicated by having been hidden under several tons of black pantsuit outfits, with the initials "...H i l l a r y  R o d h a m  C l i n t o n..." stitched on the inside, so they were determined to be of undetermined ownership.  A binder holding the pages was labelled "Practice Suicide Notes for Vince".   

     According to the repair crew, the last time there had been any access to this part of the interior walls of the White House was around 1997.   The Haz-Mat crew detected various types of radiation, as well as certain strychnine-based poison residue similar to the type used by a certain old lady who was last seen near the house where Snow White was in charge of the seven short bachelors' domicile.    All the workers said that it was "....the worst smelling mess" that they had ever encountered.

      A complete investigation was done by Eric Holder between 4:30 and 4:35 yesterday afternoon, and it was determined that nothing was of any significant forensic interest, considering that there are well over 300,000 people named Vincent, Vicente, or Vince in the United States at this time.   Many of them are LGBT and some have criminal records while others were born on odd or even numbered days.   There were also no individuals in or around the White House with the initials "H i l l a r y  R o d h a m C l i n t o n".   Therefore there is nothing that would justify using the resources of the Justice Department on a wild duck or turkey hunt....(non-lethal, catch and release hunt).  It was the general agreement of the Inspector General's office that it was all George Bush's fault anyway.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CHAVEZ, CASTROS, AND PUTIN endorse Obama:

Putin is watching your
every move.

      The White House has been encouraged by the recent endorsement by three international heavyweights, long famous for slavish devotion to the precepts of common law, human rights, and transparent domocratic processes.   President Obama made a famous overture to Putin lackey Mdvdevevev, intimating over a hot mike that he (Obama) would have a freer hand in disarming American anti-missile defense systems after the up-coming elections in November, 2012.   It was telling that Obama felt comfortable grabbing Medevevdvs leg while emphasising his willingness to sell out the entirety of Eastern Europes sovereignty and right to self-defense.   Mdednevde was moved to say, "Yes, I understand."

       This is the kind of diplomacy that has set American foreign policy on a path to gain respect and affection on the part of democratic leaders throughout this and all other planets.   Obama has been on a roll after pacifying the entire Arab and Muslim world by pointing out what a slimy bunch of pigs the American people are, and how selfish and exploitative America has been with people of colour.  It has been pointed out that no other American president has done more bowing and grovelling to tin-horn thugs and people who are morally, intellectually, and culturally inferior in all respects to America and Americans.

We all smell sulphur

     Hugo Chavez, who is famous for taking care of the poor and distributing wealth and and destroying his own refineries in order to finance his election campaigns, likes Obama's marxist pre-disposition.   After all, rich people do not need what they have, and who better to determine who needs what than people like Michelle Obama and Pocahantas Warren?

     The Venezuelan dictator is legitimately elected, although he uses money from marxist foreign contributors as well as public Venezuelan assets and tax funds for direct campaign operations.   Very efficient application of the nation's wealth for a nation that has slid over 40% in terms of basic purchasing power for all classes of citizens in the last six years.   Those following his lead in Argentina, Brazil, Ecuador, and Nicaragua are enjoying similar economic collapses at this time, so soon the marxist objective will be acheived and the ghost of Guevara will be pleased.....Everyone will be profoundly poor and have his own open sewer running in front of his favela....his own naked children playing in the sewer.....his own 11 year old son a captain in the Mara Salvatrucha.  You gotta love it.

Momma, I have a nice boy named Che' I want
you to meet.   He's here with his friends, Raul
and Fidel.

  Then we have the Brothers Castro - Ruz.   They have outlasted Eisenhower, Kennedy, Johnson, Nixon, Ford, Carter, Reagan, Bush I, Clinton, Bush II, and Obama.  They have seen the coming and going  of Lopez Mateos, Diaz Ordaz, Echeverria Alvarez, Lopez Portillo, de la Madrid Hurtado, Salinas y de Gortari, Fox Quezada, Calderon Hinojosa, and Pena Nieto.   They have seen Diefenbaker, Pearson, Trudeau, Clark, Turner, Mulroney, Campbell, Chretien, Martin, and Harper come and go in Canada.   And, any of the 57 States in America, the 31 States and one federal district in Mexico, and any province of Canada has a greater Gross Internal Product than the entire Republic of Cuba.    Cuba moved from fourth most affluent nation in the Americas in 1960 to the next to last place just above Haiti during these times.   Quite a record for the Fidel and Raul, even as they looted the assets of Cuba to the tune of several billion dollars for their own checking accounts in France, Spain, Mexico, and other places, near and far.  

   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~     

BRILLIANT INTELLECTUAL ENDORSES THE PERPETUAL MESSIAH OF THE UNIVERSE OBAMA  for President:

 

Eva Longoria



      Eva Longoria is known as a great intellectual force.  She is open minded and critical in her thought processes.  She is also very much against racial and ethnic stereotyping.  That is why she says that if a Latin person votes for Romney then that Latin person must be forced to turn in his/her genealogy card and become a person of no known race or ethnicity.   Latins must perform according to her ethnic template.     So, as is frequently asked of such dolts that are covered in this blog, "Who is the racist?   Who is the ethnic bigot?"   The fact is that it is Eva.  Not us.   We figure that if a Latin person votes Democrat it is because he or she is a dummy dumbo....but at least he or she is still the child of his ancestors.   If the Latin votes Republican, he or she is a Smarty Marty....and, of course,  he or she is still a child of his ancestors.

      Sorry, Eva.   Your logic is not very logical.  Might be because you are a blithering bimbo who is totally self-absorbed and who has never thought through any problem of logic or critical thinking in your life.   And you used to be almost attractive, but you are looking more, and more, and more like that mean old lady who rocks back and forth sitting over in Fort Marcy Park, pictured at left.

     There is still hope, because you can sell what is left of your soul to Lucifer and he can get you a discount on the Sculpto-Face Wind Tunnel machine that Nancy Pelosi broke after giving the Pope a lecture on Roman Catholic canonical law and liturgy.   There is also a discount on Nancy Pelosi's brain.   She is selling it because she does not need it, and it is in like new condition since it was never used in the first place. Sounds like you, Eva.   A new brain in reserve would not be such a bad idea.   Beats hanging around at boring basketball games. No?

     Well, that is it, folks.  All the news that's fit to print.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Whew!    This is all amazing.   Pardon the melt-down....but it was fun.   Now it is time for a quart of milk and 42 triple chocolate chip cookies....Ummmmmmm! Breakfast.
El Gringo Viejo        

FLUKIE AWARD ALERT

 

  TIME FOR THE PRESENTATION OF THE FLUKIE AWARD
Presenters are (A) Al Sharpton   (B) Bill Mahr  (C) Elizabeth (Pocahantas) Warren, serving due to the inability of Woody Allen and Jane Fonda to arrange for their private jets to be fueled and prepared for take-off in time for the ceremonies.

 

 

Hi!   These awards are brought to you by the pronoun I, the command form of the verb ' give',  as in "GIMME", and the concept "arrogant, narcissistic, self-absorbed slug".  The winner is one of our favourite slugs, Miss Flukie herself, the namesake of the Flukie Awards, Sandra Fluke.

 Hi!  I am Sandra Fluke.  I'm a nice girl who

 graduated from Cornell University's Program in Feminist, Gender, and Sexuality Studies in 2003.    I just graduated from Georgetown University with a J.D. so that I can sue you

Crackers and White Trash for wanting to do bad things to girls all the time.  I am so

impressed with myself, that I just wanted you to get to know me like I know me. 

 I like to do a lot of travelling around in Europe with Cutie Pants, my significant whatever, and I really did like doing my advanced studies at a Catholic university where the Jesuit  liberation theologist professors tell the Bishop of Rome what he can do with

his churchful of Fascists.

  Don't worry, you could never get into that school, because they only take the best...not people like you, but don't feel bad, only a few are good enough, so at least you are part of a big group, while I am special.  I want your daughter to pay for my birth control pills, because...because I can.   My momma and my poppa have taught me to expect  everything and to make the little people  pay for it.....because I can. I am 31 years old and still working angles on how to draw down on the Mutterperl estate's moneys.   They are the grandparents

 of my significant whatever, Cutie Pants.  They have lots of money.We like to travel around in Europe.

HI!   I am "Cutie Pants", aka Adam Mutterperl.  My grandparents make
 Creosus look like a homeless person.  I like to travel around and be
 self-absorbed because its fun and boring.  I play ice soccer because it is so international...not at all American...thank God (yes I know there
 is no god, so just chill it.  It's just an expression!).

Hi there!  I am Croesus, just sitting here on this pyre that
some sap is trying to light up.  My wealth is mythological.  It was
more than Sen. John Kerry's wife's ketchup fortune, for sure, for sure.
Actually I had more than him, Teddy Kennedy, the Mutterperls, and
a bunch of those people, but I'm getting pretty worried about this
sap trying to light my fire.   Check back with me in a thousand years or so.

     Sandra Fluke, the woman at the centre of a media firestorm earlier this year after Rush Limbaugh called her a “slut,” spoke Saturday in front of about 10 people at the Sak ‘N Save in north Reno.  The speech was part of a daylong effort by Democrats to get Northern Nevadans to the polls on the first day of early voting.   (why did the reporter have to estimate "about 10"?)

     Miss Fluke almost beat out (Sir Edmund) Hillary Rodham for the use of the the 1st person singular pronoun per number of other words within two sentences, but lost by a few hundred "I's".   Miss Flukie said, “I’m trying to do everything I can for an election that I feel is very important. I have a unique opportunity for how I get to do that,” said Fluke, who is coming off recent campaign trips to Colorado, Iowa, New Hampshire and Florida as a surrogate for Democratic President Barack Obama’s re-election campaign.

     Miss Flukie was breathless and "really inspired" by the crowds who came to the Sac and Save in Reno.   All ten of them.   Ten.   10

A bit of advice, Miss Flukie.   If you want birth control pills, buy them and pay for them yourself.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7k679WKSwRE&feature=related
El Gringo Viejo

Depends on Your Point of View - Try Simplicity

We have long thought about doing an open lines Friday, and this is as good a time as any.   The OROGs who are into this blog have....shall we way....an edge on those who think  the government should do something about something.   Here is one example that is simultaneously deadly serious and thoughtful and humorous:

Simplicity

Sent: Thursday, October 18, 2012 7:29 PM
Subject: Simplicity

This rather brilliantly cuts thru all the political doublespeak we get. It puts it into a much better perspective.

Lesson # 1:

* U.S. Tax revenue: $2,170,000,000,000
* Fed budget: $3,820,000,000,000
* New debt: $ 1,650,000,000,000
* National debt: $16,271,000,000,000
* Recent budget cuts: $ 38,500,000,000 

Let's now remove 8 zeros and pretend it's your household budget:

* Annual family income: $21,700
* Money the family spent: $38,200
* New debt on the credit card: $16,500
* Outstanding balance on the credit card: $162,710
* Total budget cuts so far: $3.85

Got It ?????

OK now Lesson # 2: Here's another way to look at the Debt Ceiling:

Let's say you come home from work and find there has been a sewer backup in your neighbourhood and your home has sewage all the way up to your ceilings.

What do you think you should do? ... Raise the ceiling, or pump out the crud?

Your choice is coming November 2012. It is here!!!

 

This was contributed by another high school chum from the class of 1877 or sometime back there.  We are all three or four hundred years old.   Last night I saw Pocahantas.  She turned me down for the Prom...and I wasted my dry cleaner's bill for my white sports coat of $0.65 and the $2.00 for the orchid and the $0.25 for the pink carnation.

     Does anybody have the number for a good crud-pumper?

 

El Gringo Viejo
A little blast from the past for Old McHi
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zD8MnvyAi6I