Sunday, 21 October 2012


Presenters are (A) Al Sharpton   (B) Bill Mahr  (C) Elizabeth (Pocahantas) Warren, serving due to the inability of Woody Allen and Jane Fonda to arrange for their private jets to be fueled and prepared for take-off in time for the ceremonies.

Hi!   These awards are brought to you by the pronoun I, the command form of the verb ' give',  as in "GIMME", and the concept "arrogant, narcissistic, self-absorbed slug".  The winner is one of our favourite slugs, Miss Flukie herself, the namesake of the Flukie Awards, Sandra Fluke.

 Hi!  I am Sandra Fluke.  I'm a nice girl who
 graduated from Cornell University's Program in Feminist, Gender, and Sexuality Studies in 2003.    I just graduated from Georgetown University with a J.D. so that I can sue you
Crackers and White Trash for wanting to do bad things to girls all the time.  I am so
impressed with myself, that I just wanted you to get to know me like I know me. 
 I like to do a lot of travelling around in Europe with Cutie Pants, my significant whatever, and I really did like doing my advanced studies at a Catholic university where the Jesuit  liberation theologist professors tell the Bishop of Rome what he can do with
his churchful of Fascists.
  Don't worry, you could never get into that school, because they only take the best...not people like you, but don't feel bad, only a few are good enough, so at least you are part of a big group, while I am special.  I want your daughter to pay for my birth control pills, because...because I can.   My momma and my poppa have taught me to expect  everything and to make the little people  pay for it.....because I can. I am 31 years old and still working angles on how to draw down on the Mutterperl estate's moneys.   They are the grandparents
 of my significant whatever, Cutie Pants.  They have lots of money.We like to travel around in Europe.

HI!   I am "Cutie Pants", aka Adam Mutterperl.  My grandparents make
 Creosus look like a homeless person.  I like to travel around and be
 self-absorbed because its fun and boring.  I play ice soccer because it is so international...not at all American...thank God (yes I know there
 is no god, so just chill it.  It's just an expression!).

File:Kroisos stake Louvre G197.jpg
Hi there!  I am Croesus, just sitting here on this pyre that
some sap is trying to light up.  My wealth is mythological.  It was
more than Sen. John Kerry's wife's ketchup fortune, for sure, for sure.
Actually I had more than him, Teddy Kennedy, the Mutterperls, and
a bunch of those people, but I'm getting pretty worried about this
sap trying to light my fire.   Check back with me in a thousand years or so.

     Sandra Fluke, the woman at the centre of a media firestorm earlier this year after Rush Limbaugh called her a “slut,” spoke Saturday in front of about 10 people at the Sak ‘N Save in north Reno.  The speech was part of a daylong effort by Democrats to get Northern Nevadans to the polls on the first day of early voting.   (why did the reporter have to estimate "about 10"?)
     Miss Fluke almost beat out (Sir Edmund) Hillary Rodham for the use of the the 1st person singular pronoun per number of other words within two sentences, but lost by a few hundred "I's".   Miss Flukie said, “I’m trying to do everything I can for an election that I feel is very important. I have a unique opportunity for how I get to do that,” said Fluke, who is coming off recent campaign trips to Colorado, Iowa, New Hampshire and Florida as a surrogate for Democratic President Barack Obama’s re-election campaign.

     Miss Flukie was breathless and "really inspired" by the crowds who came to the Sac and Save in Reno.   All ten of them.   Ten.   10

A bit of advice, Miss Flukie.   If you want birth control pills, buy them and pay for them yourself.
El Gringo Viejo