Eeeeeek! Eeeeeeek ! There are more sexual abuse charges than ever in the military!!! Eeeeek! Eeeeeek! What are we going to do??? Eeeeeek!
Solution? - As of the 1st of July, 2013 females in the service will be removed from on or below decks, anchors aweigh service. No women on board. No women on submarines. No women in the foxholes or the forward combat zones.
Since women are, generally smarter than men, they will be relegated to being doctors (including dentists and veterinarians), nurses, Military Police security analysts and investigators, and strategic/tactical data interpretation specialists. They can, under certain conditions, volunteer for behind the lines or pre-engagement, intelligence gathering of the most critical kind. Also, women will be encouraged to serve in the adjutancy as prosecutors and defence attorneys.
Clerical, office administration, and other such support is better done by females anyway because of their better sense of order and cleanliness.
Results of the above? Probably an 88% reduction in sexual assaults. A very sharp reduction in the 17% of female sailors returning from deployment, and going ashore as a member of the Maritime Stork Society. A 99% reduction in having to deal with the sight of a female veteran who is missing a leg, arm, or both.
Also, a sharp reduction in the spending of one-third of the service time of the combat, and close combat support personnel having to watch re-runs of "GI Jane", and being taught how to show tolerance to left-handed, double reverse transgendered Lithuanians who have six Mongolistical vegetarian aquanautic sisters with webbed toe and finger syndrome.
Internal Revenue Service:
To begin, never trust anything with the word "service" in it, if it is associated with the central government. All marxist and totalitarian governments come up with all kinds of meaningless terms that almost mean exactly the opposite of what their intent and effect is. "Social Security Administration"....that is a good one. "Medicare".....and of course, The "Affordable Care Act".....aka the Obama Socialised Medicine Initiative.
This Service must be essentially cancelled, obliterated, shut-down more than totally, disbanded, and the graves of the grandmothers burned.
BUT! BUT! EeeeeeeeK! Eeeeeeeek! What about the unemployment? What will all those people working for the IRS do....THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!!? What about H and R Block? What will all the "tax preparation advisors" do???? The acountants??? The CPA's....???? Oh!! The Humanity......!!!!!!!
They can find something else to do, like keeping books and doing accounting work for the businesses that will have an explosion of activity due to the fact that said businesses will be un-leashed to perform economic activity not seen since the time of Ronald Reagan. Standard accounting would be more fun as well, instead of all the defensive accounting and nail-biting we presently suffer.
Just a few thoughts. We appreciate your time and patience, always.
El Gringo Viejo