Thursday 4 April 2019

Chicken Little and the Never Ending Threat: We are all going to die because of Global Warming, Climate Change, and the Coming Ice Age

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         It is fairly well established fact in to-day's Academia that the World came to an end sometime around 1996 or so.  AlGore said so.  He told the entire Planet that the United States was poisoning the atmosphere in such a way that life on Planet Earth could only exist another 12 years.  And, of course, he was right.  We are all dead.   The elephants, the mosquitos, the kitty-cats, the earthworms…everybody, everything is dead.
     Then a flying saucer noticed there was one last Polar Bear on a tiny little chunk of ice.  The little chunk of ice was floating towards Hawai'i and the Polar Bear died too…in 2010…the last living thing on Planet Earth.   Incredibly, although it must be true because AlGore said it, it just so happens that presently there are four times the numbers of Polar Bears to-day as there were twenty-five (25) years ago.  But, of course, they are all dead as well.

     The East Anglia University debacle, wherein and whereat a group of snotty professors fudged all manner of climate data to prove that AlGore was right, that life on Planet Earth ended in 1998 or sometime exactly and precisely, more or less around that time…came to an end.   Everybody knows it and that is why they have to keep it secret.

     It makes Alice in Wonderland appear to be a function of normalcy.   AlGore flunked out of Divinity School and Law School, from two reputable universities.   George W. Bush passed through two degrees from two reputable (one time long ago) universities.  Both are dolts, in my opinion, with AlGore having the more severe case of Doltotis.    After all, after AlGore dumped his dumpy wife for a new honey, he bought the new squeeze a magnificent mansion right on the edge of the Pacific Ocean, at a level that he himself said would be inundated by 30 feet due to Polar Ice Cap Melting, "…in less than 12 years."

WITHIN THE NEXT  12 (or twenty depending upon the level of stupidity and ignorance ofthe audience) YEARS THE ENTIRE PLANET WILL DIE DUE TO (choose one or more):  GLOBAL WARMING, GLOBAL COOLING, NUCLEAR WINTER, CLIMATE CHANGE, and MARTIAN RAY-GUNS DOING FRONTAL LOBATOMIES ON THE HUMAN RACE.
     The above admonition has been refreshed by a nice lady from Austin, Texas…Citadel of Reason and Truth and other disorders brought on by the proclivity to believe in marxist and socialist cultural and political reforms.
    Miss Julie Range was kind enough to submit to the Valley Evening Monitor, a McAllen newspaper, a Letter to the Editor that gave us the warning that we, as Texans, are killing the Planet again.  It is because of the wanton desire to poison everybody and everything with the burn-off of natural gas that occurs after the completion of almost every successful perforation.
     Miss Range is kind enough to not include the sources of ambient and other earth contamination that contribute well over 98 per cent of said ambient and terrestrial blight.  Interestingly, over 80 per cent can be traced to two nations, Red China and India.  The remainder, almost exclusively, can be traced to permanently third-world nations that are mired in hopeless corruption, violence, organic law, and general jungle rules.
      
     BUT!!!  We know that we can trust our informative friend, Miss Range, because while she lambasts the oil and gas industry (while folding in some slightly complementary comments) she cites the ever so reliable Earthworks company as some kind of standard for evaluating oil and gas production.  We are supposed to be disarmed when she rattles up the shibboleth that Earthworks is a "non-profit".   That title or qualification is proof that they are better than the foul people who actually produce wealth that can be distributed in an inefficient but very effective waycalled free enterprise.   Non-profits are things like the previous Soviet Union.

Miss Range expounds:
     "Natural gas, plentiful in Texas, is an excellent bridge fuel from coal.  But, we diminish its value as a bridge fuel if we do not harvest it responsibly (?)  We must minimise fugitive emissions, the wasteful practice of flaring, and pollution of neighbours.
     "The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change says we have 12 years to cut our emission in half.   This means business as usual must change.
      "Texans already feel the effects of Climate Change with more powerful droughts, floods, and hurricanes.  Industry needs to be responsibly regulated. Texas needs leadership at the Railroad Commission willing to put the interest (sic) of Texans above that of industry."

To which El Gringo Viejo responds:
     It is a wondrous thing that there is a mass of humanity within the confines of the Republic of Texas that chooses to bray at the moon and jingle hollow platitudes so as to gain a sense of self-worth, no matter how unfounded their conclusions and beliefs.   Miss Range perhaps was born after 1960 or so.  Quite possibly she was born much later.
There were, supposedly, 11 buildings left standing.
Among them the damaged Baptist, Roman Catholic,
Episcopal, and Methodist Churches.
     My point is not to say that I have proof that my way of thinking has a monopoly on the nature of the Planet's comings and goings.  I shall point out that during the period from 1893 up to and including the year 1900, my great-grandfather and my grandmother endured three huge snows and freezing episodes…in Llano de Enmedio, Vera Cruz State of Mexico…far below the Tropic of Cancer.   They had a sizeable property producing avocadoes, mangoes, even a little coffee and other tropical products…especially for the markets of Mexico City and Monterrey.   After these freezes and snows, however, they had to throw in the towel…it was a 16 or more year labour by my great-grandfather, and my grandmother put in several years there as well…learning Spanish by practice to a level of perfection, and learning two different Indian languages, Totonac and Huastec  along the way.
     As an aside, please be aware that the Rio Grande froze solid on each of these invasions from the
 An accurate count was never determined
although bodies were found as much as
15 miles from Galveston...
 
North Pole as well.  Other freezes of particular note were those of 1949 and 1951 and 1962,  all of which did nearly mortal damage to the concept of citrus production in the Magic Lower Rio Grande Valley.   Also, with 
reference to droughts…we went through the drought of 1949 through 1954, with a total for McAllen of 9 or 10 inches for the entire period…down substantially, I would say, from the normal 20 inches per year, more or less.   We had to irrigate with well water, because the Rio Grande had no water…and the well water was nice and clear, but it was very sulphurous. Not really good for citrus and vegetable crops.

     And, if you want hurricanes, try on the Hurricane of Galveston in 1900…with winds estimated into the 200 mile per hour level.   No one could come up with a good count but it was "estimated" that between 7,000 and 13,000 people died in that event.

So, and therefore…allow this humble writer to suggest that Miss Range, who is quite obviously ignorant of even relatively recent history, is also obviously not competent to advise us, the unwashed, stupid, neanderthal, reprobate, slobs about matters of climate change.   My eldest brother was the head of the College of Geology and Geography of Louisiana State University.  He was, among other things, a court certified expert on matters of Earth -  Solar relationships, Climate, and Weather, among many other things.   He and those who had no political agenda scoffed at the ridiculousness of this movement about global warming, global cooling, climate change etc… and he was correct.

Thanks one and all for your time and attention.
El Gringo Viejo
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