We have noticed that when my son is eating at his parents' table, he always eats everything that his beat-up old father makes and seems to genuinely be interested in the preparations and procedures. So every now and then we talk about the fine points of preparing goodies that seem to please palates and result in being skinny, no matter how much is eaten. Truth be known, El Gringo Viejo learns as much or more from him than visa-versasrev-asiv.
So, we sent the poor lad an addenda to the last set of notes that were transferred telephonically. This will give him something to use instead of a sedative to-night. It is also in keeping with the purpose of this blogsite. We really do mean to keep it somewhat eclectic, even when the deranged Democrat nuttpolitik people run out of the asylums and start raving in front of the microphones....flooding us with material about which to comment.
The secret communique' went as follows:
Anyway, with the smoothie thing...it is all like a batting stance. I would urge against mixing a cat's hairball, corn starch, bacon grease, garbanzos with rancid buttermilk fungus and old mushrooms....and calling it a "smoothie", but any reasonable intuitive notion is valid.
For instance, I have had success by throwing in freshly diced strawberries....blueberries...
.and of course, canteloupe, honeydew, and wassermellon. Oranges, Mangoes, and Bananas are basic building blocks...along with sour cream and/or yogurt....just make sure that it is not "lite" or "fat-free" or "lo-cal" or the chemistry will not work in the mix or in the gizzard.
|IT DOES NOT HAVE TO LOOK LIKE THIS. THIS IS PAELLA. YOU CAN, FOR A HOT |
OPTION, POUR IT OVER WHITE OR MEXICAN/SPANISH RICE. YOU CAN USE OKRA
OR ONE OF THOSE REALLY FINE CENTRAL TEXAS SAUSAGES IN THE OVER ALL
MIX. GUMBOES AND PAELLAS INCLUDE ALL NATURE OF THINGS, EVEN POULTRY.
FOR THE COLD SERVICE, ALSO CONSIDER ENGLISH PEAS, ASPERAGUS, GREEN
ONION (fine sliced) OR A MYRIAD OF OTHER THINGS. THE NOSE AND PALATE
AND GOOD REASON SHOULD BE EMPLOYED, NOT YOUR FATHER' S RULES.
CONSIDER THYME AND GUMBO FILE' FOR YOUR SEAFOOD SMOOTHY, EVEN
A BIT OF CHILI POWDER....EXPERIMENT...IF NO CATS SHOW UP, YOU'RE
DOING SOMETHING WRONG, PROBABLY. IF NO DOGS SHOW UP, THEN
IT'S FOR SURE YOU ARE DOING SOMETHING WRONG.
Tricky is something like a seafood smoothie. Quality shrimp, oysters, mussels, and clams, mixed with a quarter cup of lime juice, with an 1/8th of a cup of decent vodka or tequila or rum (only one of those three), small handful of cilantro (90% leaf), three hard shakes of dried dill or one large fresh sprig, an 1/8th cup each of diced tomatoe, chopped celery, chopped white onion, purple cabbage (optional), and one tablespoon of minced garlic, and one serrano pepper (optional) w/seeds removed. Use a couple of tablespoons of EVOO and a good, straight clear vinegar.
The liquids of the meats involved....here is where it becomes tricky, and very easy at the same time....should be mixed as you wish, using one, several, or all as you wish, to your taste or Carolina's taste, for instance, (This works, believe me). Set back one-third of the meats to keep as whole. Throw the other two-thirds into the blender. Throw in enough liquid, including the hooch, EVOO, vinegar, and lime juice to make contact with the meats and the dill and cilantro all the way up. Make sure there are no cats within six square city blocks.
BLEND VERY BRIEFLY...Only seven (7) seconds. This will make a magnificent anti-cancer, high protien, and very flavourful gruel.
PLEASE NOTE: Your father will eat/drink all this without any cooking. You delicate pipples might wish to STEAM the meats (take care not to turn them into rubber...steam under high steam for one minute...or 90 seconds....no more....have the water boiling really hard before putting the seafood OVER the water and not in it...basket or colander required, obviously). After subjecting the ingredients to the blender...very briefly....you can add the reserved whole meat ingredients...the oysters, shrimp, clams, and mussels....also consider at this stage a bit of octupus or squid rings, VERY LIGHTLY STEAMED...so as to avoid making very fine rubber bands. This means a salad fork or nice spoon will be in order.
This is well-served in a LARGE Brandy snifter, or a HUGE Margarita cocktail glass. With guests, a neat-o spriglet of dill or plume of celery. At night, with guests and with warning or invitation, you can offer to "strengthen" the gruel with a bit more of the same hooch used in the original preparation. About 1/4th of a cup should be more than enough. The serving size can be up to 3 cups as a meal replacement, or 2 cups as an apertif or after dinner or as a free-standing light meal. Necessary additional seasonings in the opinion of this writer are horseradish, freshly ground black pepper, tabasco, and I have even added chunk fish (trout, flounder, ocean perch, or red snapper is best...only salt water fish!)
This is sent just as a backing to the notion of "Let's go jump off the cliff. If Superman can fly, so can we." And, it's true. This recipe will work for seafood monsters like your father. A week of it will probably cause rashes and all kinds of histamine problems....but once a fortnight is very, very "healthy"....(I hate that word).. I have served it to clients and two of them ate almost a quart each. To catalogue this in your brain's Dewey Decimal System, think in terms of...really good gumb0es...and/or paellas...It can be served very chilled, or you can warm it up and serve it over nice hot steamy rice...very flexible.
So there. Put all this in your pipe and send it to Santa Claus!