This woman has quite a record. She is the most admired woman in the United States, on Planet Earth, and in the Universe. She has mastered time travel, inventive story-telling, Cowboy Poetry, Negro Poetry, cattle market futures, land speculation, inventive billing techniques for charging for her brilliant legal services, as well as having done "so much for women's issues". She is famous for inventive Cowboy Campfire Tales, and is known in the Balkans as Corkscrew Queen. She also received a Medal of Valour from the Nobel Peace Prize Committee for piloting a helicopter up to the Twin Towers on 11 September 2001, putting the bird on autopilot, and then walking out on the spinning rotors like a Flamenco Dancer and extracting her daughter from the licking flames before returning to pilot the copter back down t0 safety, only seconds before the buildings collapsed.
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| This woman set the world's record for fewest words spoken per minute, with oak-leaf cluster for condescension. She sang, "Hit the Road, Jack" at Vince Foster's Funeral. The attendees applauded nervously. |
She cares.
