Wednesday, 19 September 2012

WE, the rightwing crazies have to pull Romney Out of the Clutches of the Liberal Republican Loser Thinkers

What a funny little quirk of fate.   The country-club, pinky-pants kinda-conservative Republicans tell us "ONLY ROMNEY CAN WIN.   NO RUBES OR HICKS OR MOOSE KILLERS NEED APPLY!!"
     The rightwing crazies say, Romney has a lot of pinko liberal baggage, and he is a compromiser.   The Country Clubbers respond,"You people are not sophisticated enough to understand.  We have to have a moderate.   The American people do not want hard liner extremists.   We have to have a moderate.   Someone who doesn't believe too hard in anything and who will throw in the towel immediately during any negotiation with the socialists.   After all socialism is the inevitable wave of the future and there is no way to avoid it."
      The rightwingers respond, "Then that's how Gerald Ford, King George I, Bob Dole, and Col.  McCain really stuck it to the liberal Democrats, right?"
      To which the pinky pants Country Clubbers respond, "If you only knew what a nice boy Billy Jeff Clinton is.   He is just the nicest boy and he does a lot of nice things.  He's just like one of us.   He is like a son to us.   And yes, Bob Dole and Col. McCain ran nice races because they like nice things and they like to have agreement and make progress.   Just think of all those nice parking spaces for crippled folks and geezers the food stampers can leave their grocery carts and pampers in.  That's nice because only gang members who print handicap tags ever use the parking spaces anyway."
      And the rightwing crazies say, "But McCain runs a nice campaign against a guy who makes fun of  "Special Olympics" on national television."
      "Yes, it was not good that Col. McCain built up that kind of pressure on a Negro who needed to be accepted and approved by the people because it was "their " time.   Perhaps it was the pressure of that girl from Canada who he chose to be his running mate.   Everybody knows they were having an affair....that's why they had to keep it a secret.   She was such a catty, gossipy, little trampy piece of white trash.   You realize of course that she has never know...."belonged" the sense of, you know... "belonging".   I mean, do they even have a country club in...where is it?  the Yukon?    She doesn't even understand the "inconvenience" a nine-month prison sentence....sometimes a girl has to stand up for what's right, and she just didn't understand what it's like to be a real woman, with a little dignity....knowing which fork to know."
      "Fork or coathanger?''

     And so it is left to the Rightwing Crazies to ...not just gather 'round...but to charge the parapets.   Surrounding the charger of our King, we force him to ride with us to assault the walls of the evil Prince Barry and his hideous court of treacherous vipers.  "Raise your Sword, Your Majesty!   We are carrying the Day!   There is fear and disorder in the Castle, and the defence lines and giving'way!" a popular captain calls over the din of battle.
     Suddenly the Good King Willard takes faith, seeing these new troops flooding into and onto the battlefield.  Looking up he sees that the defenders are gone from the walls.   Then, with but little delay, he points to the Castle and declares, "In the name of the people of England and by the Will of the Almighty, We reclaim the throne on behalf of every goodman!"
      The charger surges forward.   Good King Willard notices that his previous advisors are on the edge of the field, shaking their heads to the negative.    They had shone all observers how the battle had already been lost, even before it started.    When asked why it was that they had pushed him to the head of the line as the only reasonable replacement for the evil Prince Barry, if they were only going to abandon him at the beginning of the battle, they mumbled and looked away, finally pulling their mounts' reins to ride back to the Channel Coast.
      But back to the Battle at hand.   Look...look...the white flag is out!   The Castle has fallen.  Good King Willard is restored!   God Save the King!   Hooray!!  Hooray!!
     Prince Barry is stripped of his crown, title, and sent to California to remain in permanent exile, living in a small house whose only view is next to the pool where Lady Pelosi and Dame Hillary and Baroness Janet go skinny dipping every day and where he will work to repair grocery carts for the homeless for the rest of his days.   On Thursdays they let the errant Prince go down to the Exotic Dancers Saloon so he can watch RoseAnn Barr's special four hour Dance of the Seven Veils again....and again....and again.
Esteemed OROGs:   The Republican liberal eletists said we had to have Romney.   Romney hits a very minor bump and they abandon him.  They are shouting about Icebergs when our ship has only been bumped into by a porpoise.   The Abominable Rightwing Crazies are at the helm and at every battle position on the Ship soon-to-be of State.   We shall win this thing.
     And yes, we know, Romney and his "friends" will throw us out the back door in the dark after we win the election for Romney, but the credit is more important to his "friends" than it is to us.   God knows that some of us only have half or less of our genealogy connected to titled positions.
El Gringo Viejo